You guys, moving to a new country is hard. I’ve been here just over a month, and I still struggle to understand people. I don’t feel like I’m fitting in at work and I have no idea what’s expected of me there. The office is open plan, and can be loud and distracting, and sometimes I feel like I’m given impossible tasks to do. I haven’t failed yet, but I’m bound to (in fact, it’s probably happening tomorrow. I have an impossible deadline, and I need information from other people to make it.)
I don’t know if I’m having so much trouble at work because of me, or because of them, or because maybe it’s just not a good fit for me. I’m struggling with how I address this, if at all, with my boss, or if and when I should just throw in the towel and look for something else. I’m trying to keep perspective on this – it’s all still really new, and I’d probably be having these same kinds of struggles anywhere here because I’m just new and don’t know how things work yet. I just know I can’t go on the way I am now – I am miserable all day at work and who wants to spend 35 hours a week in misery? I’ve been down this road before.
In other news, the weather has finally taken a turn for more “typically Scottish” which means I get rained on a lot. Today we got the end of some hurricane, so it’s been really windy, and intermittently sunny and pouring, which is quite confusing and hard to dress for. I managed to stay dry, as it was not raining too hard this morning, and was clear skies when I walked home. The sun rises at 8 a.m. and sets at 6 p.m., so it’s already feeling like winter to me. Apparently at its worst, we’ll have about seven hours of daylight, which means I’ll commute in the dark both ways. That’s crazy.
I’m going to a Meetup on Thursday – it’s time to make some friends here. It’s a new member event so I think that’ll be a good place to start. I remember my first Meetup in Albuquerque – it was at Nob Hill Bar and Grill, and I was almost too terrified to walk in the door. A group member named Tammy talked to me and introduced me around, and before you know it, I had a few phone numbers and a new friend! A good number of my Albuquerque people came into my life via Meetup (or I showed up in yours, via photobombing your pictures at Keith’s Halloween Party.) Maybe I should wear my Mary Catherine Gallagher costume to the Meetup, that seemed to work last time!
So you remember when I requested the paperwork for my national insurance number? Well, it still hasn’t arrived. I called last week and was told they are behind and that it was mailed on the 13th. So, maybe this week I’ll get it. This almost certainly means I won’t have my number in time for my October pay check, so it’ll be November before I have a good idea of what kind of taxes I’ll be paying here. This makes it a bit harder to plan budgets, but I will just continue to be cautious, I suppose.
I’m trying to remind myself of the good things in all this, when the work things are getting me down. We have a great flat – it’s huge, even by American standards, and the kitchen is great to cook in. I’ve got Spotify for tunes, and access to American TV online, so I can keep up with Sheldon and the gang. I’ve been able to talk to my mom and dad and even Skype with my nephews a couple times. And I’m finally back to living with my partner, after being separated for close to ten months. We have everything you could want (except a gym) within walking distance of our place. It’s all good in the end.